Merry Xmas

Dear Santa,

I have not seen you around since I was all of ten years old. Been busy, huh? Did you get my chistmas list this year? I am awefully tired of assuming that my gifts get lost on your long journey or that you callously ignore them and bring me practical things I don't want at all. What's the deal? Was I not a good person or did you catch hold of the word 'atheist' under my religion on Orkut? Heck no! Getting loads of loot is a very spiritual experience for me. (Psst... besides, that site is evil. It forces perfectly normal people to convert into 'will you make friendship with me' maniacs. So just steer clear of it, okay?)

Woosh! Sure am glad we have that cleared up now. Let's move onto the loot for this year, shall we? I left my doggy at home when I started with college. It's been a terrible six years. I miss my best friends loads, tonns actually. I miss him everyday of not telling me how much he missed me when I came back home. You know, he could even untie my shoelaces in 2 seconds snap! That they required replacement every other month is okay. Could you fly him up with Rudolf and down my chimney this Christmas night? It would be awefully hard for him to find the way on his own, you know. Take care not to get the chimney soot on this white coat. He does not like that a bit. Just so that its easier for you here is a pic of him.

Second, I would also like the Fender highway one Stratocaster. I know, I have just started tinkering with my music, but one of these would be the best thing since hot chocolate and ice cream! Pick up the coolest looking one. The one with the built in tuner and just the perfect top string. Don't send in the pink one. Or the gray one either.

Let's get on with these two then Santa. I will be a good person. Honest. I will even switch off my laptop when I go to bed tonight - just so that your home in Greenland stays safe.

THUMP! THUMP! "Is that you Santa?" Doggonit!! Am switching it off, switching it off....

Resolutions ?!&*#!

A new year is coming up. Yeah, big deal!
Where are the cheap pay-and-go space rides? Where are the gravity defying cars that can wizzz around in dark tunnels?
Where are the mars colonies? Where are the personal robots and houses that adjust to your whims and fancies?
You call this the future???! HA !
And what about the floating cities? What about the chips that can cram up a billion years of information in your brain?
I mean, think about it! We still have to tie our own shoe laces?!&$#! Give me a break!

It is good to know that we are still around. That we have not managed, quite yet, to blow it up with our boosted fission nuclear bombs. That the Greenland ice mass still rests peacefully. We can't visit the rugged expanse of Mars yet. We can take a dip in the blue expanse of the Pacific. Today, we can jot down the 10 things to do and look at it every other day but sooner we have to understand the relationship between us and what is happening to our surroundings.

A friend said to me, "Don't tell me that not switching down my PC when I leave work the would actually cause the Greenland ice mass to melt and flood my home town. You can't be so big a nincompoop to believe this."

I know it won't tonight. It will a few years later. The Larsen ice shelf in Antartica melted due to global warming. But we were lucky back then - this ice shelf rested primarily on water so it's melting did not cause a significant rise in water levels round the globe. The Greenland ice is capable of raising water levels by 20 feet or more. That would give us enough impetus to re-write our geography books. Also, Santa will come from a land with no ice. Bums you out, dosn't it ? But then what would you say to the drowing of Indian coastal cities, Californian coast, Manhatten, Netherland and many of the British Isles ?

I was reading Calvin the other day and this is what he has to say regarding new year resolutions:
"Resolutions ? Me ?? Just what are you implying? That I need to change?? Well, buddy as far as I'm concerned, I'm perfect the way I am! For your information, I'm staying like this, and everyone else can get used to it! If people don't like me the way I am, well, tough beans! It's a free country! I don't need anyone's permission to be the way I am! This is how I am - take it or leave it! By golly, life's too short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who's got an idea how I ought to be! I don't need advice! Everyone can just stay out of my face!"

Well, Calvin, maybe just a spiff bit!